Log Lines for Possible Made-For-TV Christmas Movies

A woman finds that she has turned into a Christmas ornament on a tree. Finds love with an adjacent ornament.

A woman finds that she has fallen in love with a Christmas ornament. Christmas ornament becomes real man. 

A family man finds that he has fallen in love with a real woman, who has become a Christmas ornament, who has fallen in love with family man, who owns Christmas tree. Man divorces wife and marries Christmas ornament. Christmas ornament turns back into real-life woman.

Dog eats Christmas ornament. Christmas ornament lives in dog’s stomach, converses with other small, anthropomorphic, holiday-themed items dog has eaten.

Dogs, cats, and other anthropomorphic animals reenact the nativity.

A woman, watching an animal reenactment of the nativity, falls in love with the male director of the nativity. The animals all talk, and plot ways to set the man up with this woman.

A woman and man are estranged, and an anthropomorphic dog who loves Christmas brings them back together.

An anthropomorphic dog hates Christmas, but is taught to love it again by a talking baby.

A talking baby wants its lonely mother to meet a man for Christmas. Talking baby makes this happen, with the help of an anthropomorphic hamster.

A talking baby consumes an anthropomorphic hamster over Christmas, and is brought to the hospital by its lonely mother on Christmas, and its mother falls in love with the lonely, grouchy, career-obsessed E.R. doctor.

A teenager, who has to miss Christmas to go to the hospital when her infant sister consumes an anthropomorphic hamster, finds love with a boy from the wrong side of the tracks, who is spending Christmas in the E.R. because it is a warm place to sleep.

A boy from the wrong side of the tracks learns the true spirit of Christmas when, going to the E.R. for a warm place to sleep, he is forced to pitch in with several touching emergency cases.

A boy from the wrong side of the tracks spends Christmas in an abandoned subway tunnel with a mangy, anthropomorphic dog. Boy and dog discover the joys of Christmas, and fall in love with a reformed prostitute and anthropomorphic female dog respectively.

A Grinchlike madam and her employees learn the true meaning of Christmas when one of the women gives birth to a talking baby. Is the baby in fact Jesus? The whorehouse becomes a convent, and there is a musical number.

A talking baby plays Jesus in a nativity scene. (Also, the baby can and does talk to hamsters.) One year, the baby becomes too old to play Jesus. The baby (now a toddler) prepares to throw himself off the Brooklyn bridge. An angel comes and tells the baby that he (the baby) really has been Jesus the whole time. It wasn’t acting at all!

An angel is lonely. Talking birds help the angel meet a lonely woman for Christmas.

An orphan child accidentally shoots an angel, then shoots self in remorse. The dead orphan child becomes an angel, and helps all orphans enjoy Christmas.

A widower is lost late at night; hits an angel with his car. The man brings the maimed angel home for Christmas. The man’s talking baby helps the angel and the man fall in love, and all three ascend into heaven.

A talking baby is distressed about poverty in Africa. With the help of many anthropomorphic animals, the talking baby convinces America’s financial upper class that he (the baby) is in fact Jesus, and that a massive redistribution of wealth is required for Christmas, or all will go to hell. World peace and happiness ensue, until God smites the baby for blasphemy. Angels forcibly reinstate the status quo.

One Comment

  1. This stream-of-consciousness makes me want to go find the He-Man Christmas special…

    Like

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