Community Rules for Separate Commons, Communal Living Experiment for Introverts

Hello! Welcome to Separate Commons, the world’s first communal living experiment designed with the introverted personality in mind (as developed during brainstorming sessions at Yaddo)!  We here at Separate Commons realize that just because you value a cooperative, just and equal way of life doesn’t mean you want to have to talk about it all the time. Please adhere to the following basic standards of behavior, so that everyone here at Separate Commons can live happily and peacefully alone, together:

 

    1. Always respect a closed door. We renounce private property, not personal privacy.

 

    1. Everyone must take their turn selling our soaps, veggies and textiles at the farmers’ market on Sundays. Everyone is equally averse to working the booth, so no excuses for shirking work duty will be accepted. “Writing” is no excuse for missing work duty. We all have ample hours for “writing.”

 

    1. When using the kitchen, library, bathroom, stables, gardens, workrooms and other common spaces, your wish to remain undisturbed can be indicated by donning your “invisible hat.” Anyone not wearing an invisible hat will be assumed to be open to an exchange of greetings and possible small talk. If everyone but you is wearing an invisible hat, find a good book.
      Special note due to recent issues::  being under the influence of a substance is no excuse for ignoring someone’s invisible hat. If you feel you must communicate something immediately, write a note, set it down in an obvious place, and walk away.

 

    1. All communications are to be made via community corkboard. Please check the corkboard frequently for relevant messages, but that said, please do not approach if someone is already reading the corkboard. No one likes a hoverer. If you do receive a message, you are encouraged to go to your room and think about it for a couple of days before responding.

 

    1. When using the communal bathroom, if you get the sense that someone is attempting to defecate, please do your business and move along; don’t stand around brushing your teeth and staring at your skin in the mirror.

 

    1. Please use headphones for all music, movies, etc., and please chew with your mouth closed. Excessive coughing, muttered expressions of disgust or delight, laughing, weeping or other vocalizations will not be tolerated. Please do not wear heeled shoes or flip-flops. Please make every effort to be as generally unobtrusive as you would have others be.

 

    1. Unfortunately, we here at Separate Commons have come to realize that we must enforce one mandatory social gathering per month, so that members of the community can recognize each other by sight. Rest assured, all social events will have clearly pre-determined start and finish times, as well as a definite, stated activity and objective. You will not find yourself mingling. We will consider special exemptions for those who would ordinarily attend, but who just really, really do not want to right now.

 

  1. Separate Commons is a community for introverts, not for hermits or misanthropists. If anyone is deemed to be behaving in an hostile or antisocial manner, they will be asked to leave. Please check the corkboard frequently for notices to vacate.

6 Comments

  1. Ms Miyagi

    Sign me up!

    Like

  2. Sara B

    I like that the google ad for this is: “Introvert = Loser”

    Like

  3. Is this real? I wish this was real… it’s the commune I’ve been searching (quietly and politely) for

    Like

  4. Elizabeth

    No, Janie, sadly, like all perfect socities, it is but a dream.

    Like

  5. […] Community Rules for Separate Commons, Communal Living Experiment for Introverts […]

    Like

  6. Carthalia

    Sorry to hear this isn’t a reality for communal living : /

    Like

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