Once upon a time, a bunch of pilgrims were progressing when they wandered into the Slough of Despond, and immediately began to wallow and sink. All except for one of them, William, who got very excited.
“What is this place?” said William. “It’s so hydrating and luxurious!”
“It is is such a place as cannot be mended: it is the descent whither the scum and filth that attends conviction for sin doth continually run, and therefore it is called the Slough of Despond,” said Christian, the leader.
“Well!” said William. “It is warm and relaxing! And it is doing wonders for my skin!”
“Verily, it is a loathsome place,” said Christian. “Only a fool wouldst enjoy it.”
“Different strokes,” said William. “It’s so squishy between my toes! It’s nice to just float and not to have to think for a little bit.”
“We must push on to the wicket-gate and from thence to the brave Country,” said Christian.
“Y’all go on ahead,” said William. “I’ll catch up in a bit.”
The rest of the pilgrims pulled themselves out of the Slough and William continued to float on his back.
“Jesus,” he said to a nearby frog. “There goes an insufferable group of people. I mean, I was raised not to yap on about your religion. It’s super awkward.”
“There are such things to be had which they spoke of,” observed the frog. “And many more Glories besides; If you believe not me, read here in this Book; and for the truth of what is exprest therein, behold, all is confirmed by the blood of him that made it.”
William sighed. “Do you know if there’s a bar anywhere around here?”
Accismus 