Are you good at what you do? What would you like to be better at.

I’m pretty amazing at everything I do. For one thing, I am able to make a noise in the back of my throat that sounds just like a rollercoaster when it’s going up a big hill. It’s amazing. People are so impressed when I do it that they don’t even want to show how impressed they are, because it would be painful for them.

Also, I can drink two entire bottles of wine, and still stand on one leg and sing anything from the Great American Songbook. Easy.

Also, I can walk into most places where I’m not supposed to be and people usually will assume I belong there, because I am a white woman.

Also, I’m a fantastic driver. I’ve had cops pull me over before just to tell me what a fantastic driver I am, and sometimes when I drive through an area where there are a lot of pedestrians, they just stop dead in their tracks, and follow my car with their eyes, applauding and weeping.

Also, I can navigate at nighttime using only the stars, and I know which kinds of wild plants are edible (hint: all wild plants are edible).

Finally, I can lift myself above my chair using only my two hands. I do this a lot. It’s very impressive. Although once I’m up there, there’s not much to do but come back down again.

I can’t think of anything I’d like to be better at, because if there’s anything that I am not already expert at, it’s because I have decided that thing is not worth doing. Like a sport, or wrapping presents neatly.

One Comment

  1. Haha.. I find your posts pretty hilarious and they give me good laughs, always. From this time on, I had promised myself to visit your blog whether I am lonely or not. You are a great writer.

    Like

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