Today, I read about this 500-year-old clam named Ming. Scientists recently killed Ming while prying her open in an attempt to figure out how old she was. She turned out to be crazy old!
I think they did her a kindness, really. Can you imagine being a clam for that long? I used to say that my worst fear was being buried alive, but now I think it’s being a 500-year-old clam.
I googled “what do clams do” and I learned that they have a foot that lets them move slowly across the ocean floor. So at least they can go on walks, I guess. And they also suck in water and filter out the algae and plankton for sustenance. That might be fun for a minute.
They also go back and forth between being male and female, which would be pretty entertaining, except there doesn’t seem to be much difference. While they’re being female, they can release up to 60 million eggs into the water in one season, which can’t be entirely comfortable.
And finally, they hum incessantly to themselves, which humming can only be heard by other clams. And it’s the same tune over and over again. Scientists can’t determine any purpose to the humming, but obviously, it’s a desperate attempt to relieve the endless tedium of being a clam.