After much thought, I think I have arrived on the final set of three wishes I would make should a genie ever present me with the option:
- Make me independently wealthy, such that forever after I will have all the money I want to do whatever I feel like doing without ever having to work for it or worry about it.
- Make me a white American man who looks exactly like Jon Hamm.
- Give me an IQ of 160.
I’m assuming that these wishes would all be in addition to whatever I already have; and not any tricksy nonsense like I get all of that and then also, surprise, I get inoperable cancer that will claim my life in one month or some shit. I would receive these three wishes only and NO OTHER CHANGES. I’d get this clarification first, in writing, and if this wasn’t the deal, I wouldn’t make any wishes at all.
Also, note that these wishes are those that will set me up personally for the maximum success and enjoyment a person could potentially have in the world we find ourselves in today. I would not waste my wishes on a better world, as I’m not convinced this particular one we’re living in will even make it more than a hundred more years into the future. I just want to have a good time with whatever time I have, and if I had the three characteristics above, my life would be BANANAS fun.