Snoozing a Baby

You wouldn’t think you could use a baby as a snooze alarm, but I actually find mine makes a pretty good one. Every morning, Edith wakes up anywhere between 6am and 8:30am, usually closer to the former. When she wakes up, I pick her up out of her basinet and pop her into bed next to me. At this point, she is usually vocally complaining, but she isn’t fully awake enough yet to be full out crying. I put a pacifier in her mouth and rub her tummy and then I sort of drift in and out of sleep and wait to see what happens.

Some mornings, she complains for ten minutes or so and then falls asleep for an hour or even two! Other (most) mornings, she spits out her pacifier and complains, then I put it back in and she thrashes around quietly for two minutes, then spits out her pacifier and complains again, and we repeat this pattern somewhat infinitely, exactly as if I were hitting a snooze alarm, until either I give up, or she escalates to wailing. Other mornings, she is not down for any of this, and belts into full out screaming as soon as I start the process, which means she’s fucking hungry and I best get the hell up with a quickness.

It’s always something new and is very unpredictable. It also isn’t restful at all, and if anything just makes me more exhausted and yet I feel compelled to do it every morning anyway, because in my half-conscious state, it seems like a good idea, which is what makes it identical to hitting the snooze button.