I had the misfortune of spending a great deal of today driving, and much of it in stopped traffic due to a combination of necessity and poor judgment (did you know there are schools that let out at 4:30pm now?), and as I sat there, I was thinking about the lane I habitually use.

I drive in the middle lane pretty much all the time. If you’re some sort of weird driving purist, you’re going to say that no one should drive steadily in any lane but the far right; that the other lanes are passing lanes and should be used only for passing. But if you are a human who actually wants to get somewhere when you drive rather than constantly leap-frogging in and out of the right lane, you probably drive in one of the other lanes most of the time.

Now, I recall at some point someone telling me that the middle lane is the most dangerous lane to drive in because people are merging into it from both sides, and that most accidents happen in the middle lane. So you would think that I, a driving coward, would avoid the middle lane as much as possible.

But here’s the thing: the right-hand lane is full of stoned people or big tractor trailers going 45 mph on the interstate, and the left-hand lane is the Autobahn. So the middle lane is the only lane where a person can actually drive at a reasonable speed.

In addition, the lanes to the right and left are forever turning into exit-only lanes with very little warning and no one will let you over. I’ve driven miles out of my way before because I accidentally exited onto a flyaway that then turned into some sort of freeway with no exits that terminated at the national border.

So the middle lane is the only logical option as far as I can see.

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