Everyone will tell you that babies do not need a lot of stuff. Specifically, they don’t need a lot of toys or books. A baby can entertain itself for a long time with a saucepan, or a cardboard box.
Well, those people are right. Babies don’t need a lot of stuff. BUT I DO! Edith can play with the same three toys for weeks on end, but I fucking can’t, if I have to sit on the floor and waggle an object in front of an infant’s face for hours, I am going to at least need a wide variety of objects of different colors and sizes to waggle. Edith doesn’t know one book from another, but there are only so many times I can show her the same damn black-and-white photos of a cat before I need a new book to patiently point at.
So my advice is different: kids are dull as hell, so buy yourself an infinite variety of toys and books to play with.
And then before you know it, they’re the ones making you motion sick while they show you around Minecraft.
I don’t know what a Minecraft is, and I resent that I will one day have to find out.
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