Unfortunately, Edith seems to have figured out cause-and-effect — particularly that if she cries, she can sometimes alter the course of events in her favor. So for some time today my chill baby who previously only cried when hungry or tired cried incessantly about all manner of things. This was clearly a test; I could see her analyzing me through her streaming eyes to see what I would do. Some reasons why Edith cried today:
- I was out of sight for half of one second.
- I would not let her eat a tissue.
- I would not let her lick some sort of powder that had collected in the crevice under the dishwasher.
- She wanted a hug, and even though I was hugging her, it wasn’t as fully satisfying as she had anticipated.
- I only let her dig her fist into my peanut butter sandwich one time and not repeatedly.
- My nose would not come off.
- The wall she was pushing on with both hands refused to move.
- The floor felt too much like floor.
- She wanted to sit in my lap and explore the hallway simultaneously and the laws of physics would not permit it.
- Agatha the Lamb said some shit to her that was unacceptable.
- The sound of her own crying was annoying to her.
- Bored.
I’m hoping this is a phase that doesn’t last very long. It’s unfortunate that it’s started right before we have a series of houseguests.
>I’m hoping this is a phase that doesn’t last very long.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA
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Shut up, I hate you.
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