I didn’t understand why people made a big deal about diapering babies. Up until recently, it was really not difficult. Sure, poop is gross, I guess? But I’ve done much more unpleasant things in my life than change a poopy baby diaper.
But it did not occur to me that when the baby began to move, she would…move. Edith no longer lies obediently on her back for diaper changes. She immediately flips over onto her hands and knees and tries to crawl off the top of the dresser (which is where the changing pad is). This is obnoxious for pee changes, but it is downright catastrophic for a poop change.
When she flips, I quickly grab her by the nearest ankle, and she pushes off, and usually we end up with her doing a sort of handstand on the changing table and flinging her free leg around while I try to wipe crap off her butt (which is, again, suspended in mid air, upside down, and in motion, between two churning legs) before it gets all over her, me, the wall, the dresser, and anything else in reach.
I’m sure this is hilarious to observe, but it’s increasingly unmanageable. I can’t imagine this is what every parent is doing — surely there’s a system that I’m missing that one of you could share?
Please?
Accismus 
Hahahahaha. 🤣
Sorry. Was that unsympathetic? Let me try again.
Diapering an uncooperative human is always difficult. There is no perfect solution. But, you can try moving the changing to the floor so you’re not having to deal with the risk of a fall if she escapes you (in my experience they eventually force you to switch to the floor anyway because toddlers become extremely anti-changing-table; I have no idea why). Also, try grabbing both ankles with one hand and holding the feet together while removing the diaper and wiping: this prevents her from being able to flip over. If you push the feet down towards the floor (towards her body) her knees will bend and her legs will open so you can still access what you need to for wiping purposes even while holding the feet together.
Good luck!
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I second what Cat says, and I also recommend getting a very long belt and strapping her to the pillow, if you’re using one. If you’re not using one (which you might not at this stage, I can’t remember), then Cat’s recommendation is the way to go. You really gotta wrangle the ankles.
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I want to say that grabbing both of Edith’s ankles in one hand and keeping them there is about as doable as me flipping a horse over and catching its hooves, but then, I have not actually TRIED it, so I’ll give it a shot. I do like the belt idea.
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If you can’t manage to grab the ankles with one hand and change the diaper with the other without losing control of those feet, you can always try what this article suggests and use your feet to pin her arms to the ground:
https://www.whatsupfagans.com/how-to-change-squirmy-baby-diaper/
The article also suggests trying the distraction approach by handing her an object she’s never seen before immediately before changing her so she’s busy trying to figure out how to get a whole spatula into her mouth at one time rather than trying to wriggle out of your clutches.
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Ok, last night I very luckily had the messy opportunity to try out all of y’all’s tips and so I can confirm that…none of them worked. When I grab both her ankles, she twists her entire upper body over. When I belt her, she just flips within the belt. Distracting her with a nearby sunscreen bottle worked great! For half the diaper change.
I did not try holding her down with my legs/feet, though, and I will try that next time. It looks promising.
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> I did not try holding her down with my legs/feet, though, and I will try that next time. It looks promising.
Pics or it didn’t happen
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