Work

I’m not writing much lately because it’s frankly exhausting not being at work.

On a typical workday, my routine is as follows:

• 4:30/5:30 am: up with Edith, change diaper, give her a bottle
• 4:30/5:30 – 8:00 am: play with Edith, somewhere in there make coffee, possibly put on different clothes than the ones I slept in, depending how the day is feeling
• 8 – 4:00 pm: work
• 4 – 5:00 pm: play with Edith
• 5 – 5:30 pm: feed Edith dinner and eat dinner myself
• 5:30 – 6:45 pm: bath for Edith, wind down play, night bottle, bedtime stories, bed
• 6:45 – 7:15 pm: clean up kitchen and bath, shower and get ready for bed
• 7:15 – 9:00 pm: either watch TV or read
• 9 – 9:30 pm: look at Twitter while telling self I should be sleeping already
• 9:30 – ~2:00 am: sleep
• 2 – ~2:15 am: grit teeth through shout session as Edith tries to negotiate her way into the big bed
• 2:15 – 4:30/5:30 am: sleep

For days off, however, here’s how the middle part goes:

• 4:30/5:30 am: up with Edith, change diaper, give her a bottle
• 4:30/5:30 – 5:00 pm: play with Edith (with two hour co-sleeping nap break)

I’m not saying I don’t love spending time with my baby; she’s my favorite person in the whole world and all. But it’s just a LOT of time and she can’t talk to me yet, and we have a pretty limited repertoire of games and things we can play. It saps me intellectually — by the end of the day, articulating thoughts is extremely difficult.

If I could afford to, would I stay home with my baby instead of work? Well, I would stay home with her, yes, but I would also still have a full-time nanny so I could fuck around whenever I wanted to, and I don’t care what kind of mother that makes me.