Day 9

What do people incorrectly assume about you?

How should I know? That seems like their business. I guess now that I have a baby, people tend to assume that I’m married. It’s a natural assumption and easy enough to correct. The only awkward thing is I worry that in certain situations saying “oh, I’m not married” might sound flirtatious.

When I had a baby by myself in a red state, I thought that people might be shitty about it, and I had all my defenses prepared. But actually, everyone’s been chill. I think people tend to go around assuming that other people will freak out about this or that, and sometimes it’s less that we dread it than that we’re hoping people will so we can have the rarely socially permitted delight of telling someone off, but being righteously justified in doing so. It’s like we go around all the time spoiling for a fight. And then, if one or two people are rude to us, we exaggerate it, portray ourselves as constantly embattled. It’s an unattractive characteristic, and I’m not sure why we do this. I think there’s something in people confusing unpopularity with character — unfortunately, just because some people don’t like you doesn’t necessarily mean you’re brave or interesting. A lot of people like me, but a lot of people don’t, and in those cases, I’ve usually done something to deserve it.

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