Gum

I have nothing to say today and Edith was up all night and I’m tired, so this is a plug for gum. Remember gum? I suddenly realized not too long ago that I hadn’t chewed gum in like ten years, so I got a bunch of it and now I chew it all day at work. Why did I stop? Along with coffee, it’s a big help in staying conscious and upright.

Gum! I recommend it.

(Also, it’s fine to swallow gum. It’s an old wives’ tale that it isn’t. I’ve swallowed thousands of pieces of gum in my life and I’m fine. I really hate it when I’m with someone making a big deal about needing somewhere to put their chewed gum. “Do you have a paper? Do you have a paper? DOES ANYONE HAVE A PAPER, I HAVE GUM!!!!!!” Just fucking swallow it, you dumb baby, why are you making this my problem.)

(I might be a little irritable today.)