Let me spare you the $14 and nearly three hours of your life you might otherwise waste on this piece of shit movie, and recap it here for your convenience: Lights up on Average G.I. Joe, in a sleeping drawer from the Fifth Element set, installed in the giant room from The Matrix.
Why do I stir my coffee counterclockwise? Is this more effective, or merely habit? Is it perhaps offensive + off-putting to others? Do not stir coffee counterclockwise, unless certain culture is tolerant of same.
Hi everyone! If you are not on my email list, you may be unaware that on Monday, October 27 at 9:30p.m., I’m performing a brief, funny one-woman show at Manhattan Theatre Source! Here are the details – if you’re in the NYC area, come check it out!! Elizabeth Barrett Loves Christian Bale Written and performed […]
I am here to speak to you today about dreams. You are all young people, and young people ought to have dreams – big ones, bold ones. Big, bold, wild, wonderful, wacky dreams. I hope you have them.
Welcome to self-diagnosis.com. Please utilize the following symptom checker to obtain your diagnosis: 1. Do you feel that you are more unhappy than most other people?
So, I recently joined the YMCA in my neighborhood. As it’s been over two years since I belonged to a gym and had regular access to weights, I’ve entirely forgotten my old regimen. So, I bought a few women’s exercise-type magazines to find a couple of routines. I usually steer clear of women’s magazines because […]
Heyyy, matey. Well, as you can see the lads and I have been talking, and this is really just so awkward, but we all feel that it’s time you left us, and hopped on over that plank. I know, I know, it’s sooo awful, but I just can’t help but feel you’re fomenting a mutiny.
Those who remove sta- -ple removers from copy rooms should be shot dead.
He was still there, snuffling around outside the door. ‘Virginia,’ he whined. ‘Virginyaaa.’
To the Foreign Gentleman (in the newsstand who complimented my bustle this morning): You and I are similarly of low fortune. While in rare circumstances, a certain charm and affection can make up for a deficiency in income (for a time), in our case, no such affinity exists, and we would surely be as miserable […]