The key thing in 30-minute dating is to make an accurate and winning first impression. Such as:
- You’re a doctor? That’s cool. I’m a doodyhead. I’M A GREAT BIG OLE DOODYHEAD!
Continue reading “Statements That I’m Pretty Sure Would Result in Hasty Termination of a 30-Minute Dating Date”
- Claire moves into the others’ suburban community so that she can finally obtain and enforce a restraining order against Charlie.
- Desmond hits on Claire. When she rebuffs him, he reminds her that he can see the future, and thus her eventual submission is a foregone conclusion. She figures, what the hell. Their super hot accents make them a hit at the others’ cocktail parties.
Continue reading “Lost Spoilers”
No more nancying about. This is the real thing, Elizabeth. This time, I’m sticking to these resolutions. I’m not going to cry, complain, whine, sleep, eat or feel. I’m going to achieve my objectives, stop standing in my own way, buck up, sack up, sit up, shut up and shape up. Continue reading “Personal Resolutions for Escaping My Current Rut”
The Low-Food Cafe is a low-cal, low-fat, low-carb, low-food cafe that features dishes for the acetic gourmet. Chef Angie Brentworth has been living and cooking with anorexia nervosa for seven years, and opened Low-Food Cafe to supply abstainers with convenient, low-food entrees at reasonable prices.* Continue reading “Low-Food Cafe”
Seriously, guys, this can’t continue the way it’s been going.
You up there, running nearly a mile ahead of the rest of us, bounding over boulders and snapping branches back in our faces, straight through the night without cease. Well, of course there’s not enough time for sleep – we lose two hours every morning, since you insist on skimming both the Trib and the Times over your breakfast banana and fat-free yogurt, and then you have to do your precious sun salutes and strap on your ankle-weights. Continue reading “A Serious Talk with the Best and Worst Versions of Myself as We Metaphorically Hike the Appalachian Trail”