I Don’t Want to Vote for a Rapist!

I am so tired of this! I 100% believe all these women — Biden did this. Trump did everything he was accused of, and Kavanaugh did, and Thomas did, and Bill Clinton did, and Hillary Clinton enabled who her husband was and benefited from her partnership with him and defended him and did not care what he did to other women. And none of these men even really think they did anything wrong, because they think rape is knocking a total stranger over the head in an alley and anything short of that is fair game when it comes to women. Bernie is the best of the bunch when it comes to how he’s treated women, and he’s a deadbeat dad. 

What the fuck! Why does this keep happening! Most people are not rapists, so why am I continually forced into voting for one for the highest office in the land? Is it on purpose? It sure starts to feel like it! Is it to coerce all women to just abdicate the vote because they’re so disgusted they can’t bear to participate in politics, thus letting men run everything by default? Maybe! It feels intentional! 

I don’t let women off the hook for this either! Stop marrying men who hate women! Stop excusing them and accommodating them and making their lives comfy for them and having children with them who then learn from them! Stop it! Just stay single, goddamn! 

The Eternal Battle Against Entropy, and My $60 Pillow

For most of my adult life, I lived in very expensive cities on about $30k, which means that I lived in small spaces with several other people, and my furniture was generally of the found or scrounged variety. I was always fairly comfortable in my surroundings (if you discounted the auditory and olfactory senses), but I very rarely spoiled myself with a new Nice Thing.Continue reading “The Eternal Battle Against Entropy, and My $60 Pillow”

Merry Christmas! And People Disgust Me

I hope everyone had nice holidays. My Christmas was fantastic, but I’d rather skip over that and bitch about the horrible time I had flying home. On the first leg, I was sitting next to a woman in her 50s who had a giant wad of bubble gum in her mouth and who blew big, cracking bubbles for the entire flight. I have already expressed my feelings about open-mouthed gum chewing. I could hear her even through my earplugs.  Continue reading “Merry Christmas! And People Disgust Me”

My friend Chris has been fighting the good fight, writing letters to various corporations to hold them accountable for their sins. Tonight, we joined forces to preach truth to Target, on behalf of rabbit owners everywhere:

Dear Target,

The name of your company is apt, as we’re certain that many dreams across these United States involve hurling sharp projectiles at your architecturally uninspired retail locations. We assure you, however, that we’re unlike such dreamers.

We are unlike such dreamers, for we can no longer dream.

Read the rest at Gunky.org.

 

On Second Thought, I Don’t Like Running. At All.

Since my senior year of high school, I’ve been a runner. This does not mean that I enjoy or take pride in running, or do it well. This means that I shove myself out the door anywhere from once every other month to six times a week and trot miserably around the neighborhood or park for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour.

I do this because if I stop doing it for more than three months, when I jog up a flight of stairs, I feel like my lungs are going to explode. Continue reading “On Second Thought, I Don’t Like Running. At All.”